Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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