Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
