i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
