my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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