yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i love accidental penises.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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