i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
