i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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