so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
