in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
