Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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