Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
