first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
