when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
bring money and cleavage
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
