where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
