paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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