you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
