I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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