Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
