Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
