Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
