is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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