I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
