So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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