some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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