I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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