I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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