this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
