cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
