Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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