God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
