one might say we're banned from that church
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
