five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
