Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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