so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
