The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
