Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
that may or may not have been my penis.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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