Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
