you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
