He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize