hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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