i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
