What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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