Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize