I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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