let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
