I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
