you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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