He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize