oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
