Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My bed smells like the plague
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
