he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize