Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
