yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
