I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Randomize
