She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
