that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize