i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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