Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just found a bag of teeth...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
