she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
