you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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