woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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