I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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