Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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