I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
