He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You made out with two different species that night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
