There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
A+ Viking dick
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
